Almost ready...

So, I haven't posted in a dog's age, but I feel compelled to do it now. In less than 39 hours I will be in the hospital giving birth to my second, and final, child. A lot has happened since I posted last. 2009 was a pretty shitty year all around. Erik's beloved grandfather who was best man at our wedding and basically his best friend, died in March. It was the worst thing ever, it all happened very quickly - a matter of weeks- which in a way is a blessing, but also tough to deal with. In the fall my aunt Janice passed away and we had to put our beloved Brain to sleep. I had Brain for 12 years - almost her entire life- and I really am not sure I will ever be able to think about her without tearing up. She was with me through a lot of stuff; two states, multiple houses, two husbands, good times and bad. She got sick very suddenly and there wasn't anything we could do without causing a lot of suffering, which may not have helped anyway. Making that decision was the hardest thing I have ever done and I am crying now just thinking about it. I was with her at the end and that makes me feel better, but it still hurts.

At the beginning of 2009 I had made a pact of sorts with myself that if I wasn't pregnant by the end of the year I was going to give up. In November I turned 33 and we had been trying for another baby for 4 years off and on. I finally went to the doctor and figured out what the problem was, but it still wasn't happening. I have the mindset that if something is meant to happen it will and I decided that if it hadn't happened by then, that was the sign I was meant to just have one. So, imagine my surprise when, two days before Christmas I peed on a stick and saw two lines! I was in shock, I had lost count of how many tests I had taken up to that point and they were always negative. So here we are with another boy coming the day after tomorrow. He is not due to be born until next week, but I am having a scheduled c-section at 7:45 in the morning on Tuesday August 24. We are ready for this baby to come, but I am still scared and nervous. I haven't had a baby in almost 10 years, hopefully I haven't forgotten how to do everything.

We never found out ahead of time what we were having with Miles, I really liked the idea of a surprise, but also we lived in a one bedroom apartment at the time and, therefore, had no nursery to decorate. Most of the things we had for him were hand-me-downs, so there wasn't much choice for us even if we had known. This time I thought I would feel the same way, but I decided very quickly that I wanted to know and Miles absolutely insisted we find out. We were anxiously awaiting my 20th week when I had an ultrasound scheduled so we could see if it was a boy or girl. Fate, however, stepped in when I had a abnormal test result that made it necessary for me to have an amniocentesis at around 16 weeks. They did an ultrasound along with it, but were unable to see any important parts during that. When the test results came back they first told me that everything was fine and then that we were having another boy! We are all very excited, especially Miles who is happy to have someone to pass his toys along to.

Who knows when I will have time or feel the need to post again. For now, I am off to put my feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet that will soon disappear.