Issues

I feel ill at ease. I don't know what it is specifically. It is nothing glaringly obvious. Okay, maybe slightly obvious, but I swear there is something else that I just can't put my finger on. I spend a lot of my time wishing I knew what is going to happen. What does life have in store for me? Should I go this way or that, or some other way I have yet to find? Nothing is easy. All decisions can have major consequences. In an effort to avoid conflict, and therefore take the easy way out, a lot of us just leave things the way they are and hope a solution will present itself. But what about all the time you have wasted and all the opportunities you may have missed? I am a great believer in fate, in the sense that things happen for a reason, even if it isn't obvious at the time, and everything works out the way it is supposed to. I believe that all my experiences and choices, good and bad, have made me the person that I am today, and, therefore, were important even if they were painful. But sometimes I just wish life were easy. Sometimes I wish that things were black or white. I am having issues lately. I feel like I have this huge decision to make, but I know it isn't only up to me. Part of me thinks I should just wait things out and see where life takes me. But the rest of me worries that I will run out of time, that someday I will look back on this and say "why didn't I do that sooner?". Or maybe there is no decision to be made. Maybe it will be made for me.

Weekend fun

Yesterday we spent what amounts to a small fortune on plants for our yard. I got some for the planters by the walkway, for around the mailbox, and we finally got the hedges we have been wanting to put in on the other side of the driveway so no one will drive on it anymore. When we bought this house 2 years ago it was a business, and they used the entire yard for a driveway. We sectioned part of it off on the far side and planted grass, but people still drove on it as though the grass weren't there. By people I don't mean our friends and loved ones who come over to visit us, I mean the seemingly thousands of people who drive up this narrow, dead end street with 3 houses on it on a daily basis. Before this house went up for sale, I had never even seen this road, let alone drove up it, but apparently everyone in the area feels the need to drive up here and turn around. I have issues with this, if you couldn't tell.

So we planted some of our stuff today, but then we got tired of it, and there was a game on. I had a tick crawling on me earlier and Erik just pulled one out of his leg. Barf. I had great plans to make a big dinner, but now I am tired and don't want to. I have laundry to do and I need a shower.

Off to check for ticks. Yum.

Genius boy

My child is a genius. Obviously I am not exactly impartial, and everyone says that about their child, but this time it is true. By the end of 1st grade children are ideally reading at a level 16. At our last parent-teacher conference in February, Miles was at around a 12 or 13, which was normal. Now he is reading at level 20. It just amazes me. It's unfortunate that he has to take medication in order for it to happen, but at least it is working. Erik has ADHD as well, and he's gone through his whole life thinking he's stupid because he didn't do well in school. I don't want that for Miles.

Today I am off, again. Erik was going to stay home with me, but he went to work anyway because he is way too responsible. Miles has a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so I have to pick him up early. I should clean, but it's supposed to rain this weekend, so perhaps I will put it off until then. Or next year.

Off to slack.

It's official

That's right, it's my anniversary. This is officially the longest marriage I have had. I feel quite good about this. Especially since I am not planning to or thinking about ending it any time soon. Hopefully never. So in honor of this, I thought I would break out a couple of the pictures from the big day that I don't hate:

You can't see my face very well in this because I was concentrating really hard on not falling down. In an effort to appear less midget-like, especially next to my freakishly tall husband and his freakishly tall family, I wore giant high-heeled platform shoes. It was a little scary until I got a couple of drinks in me, and then I was fine.


Here is one of me getting ready. I picked this because it is one of the only pictures where my face isn't flaming red. Despite it being May, it was around 80 degrees out that day. That's V holding my veil. She is 16 now and taller than Erryl (whose head is levitating behind me).



Another one of us. I think I don't hate this one because it's grainy and dark. Plus you can see my dress better. I loved that dress.

The picture up above is my family, obviously. Jen, my dad, me, Erik, my mom, Erryl, and the boys. They look so young. It makes me feel old.

Off to reminisce.

Ticks. Ick.

I just want to say that I have lived in rural Maine for the majority of my 31-plus years, and I don't ever recall hearing about ticks until I was an adult. I grew up, literally, in the middle of the woods. There were trees everywhere and we had a big lawn with a lot of grass, which was sometimes long. We would spend hours outside in the trees, rolling in the grass. The idea of ticks was unfathomable to me. Yesterday I pulled a big, disgusting tick off of Miles' hip along with a pretty good chunk of skin. Erik had one on his arm the other night as well. And as if the idea of a parasitic bug attaching itself to your skin and sucking your blood isn't enough, you have to worry about lyme disease. Those ticks are so small you can barely see them. Two years ago when Miles was in Preschool, he had a big red rash that his teachers thought was the "bullseye rash" that you get from lyme disease. He had to take antibiotics just in case, but as it turned out, he just has a bad reaction to mosquito bites. Like there aren't enough things to worry about in the world now. Ticks.

Off to gag.

Friday

It's Friday and I am off...again. Actually next Friday as well, and perhaps the one after that. It's because my work sucks and I have virtually no hours. It's nice having Friday off, but not when you can't afford to go anywhere because you barely make enough money to pay for gas to get to work and back. Good times.

Today I have to go get blood taken for some fun and exciting tests I am having done. I need to go now because I had to fast and I am starting to get hungry. Also I haven't had any coffee yet or taken any of my pills. Perhaps I should get going.

Off to bleed.

I love baseball

I find this to be an amusing turn of events at my age. I never liked baseball. I didn't like playing it and I didn't like watching it. I was even married to a man who not only played it, but watched it frequently and it never interested me. Believe me I watched a lot of baseball in those 4 years, including games he was in. Gag. Now, in my later years, I love it. I actually started getting involved in it last year when my sister was living with us. She is a rabid Red Sox fan (who isn't?), and Erik started watching games with her. We also went to see Rory play a couple of times and even had our own game with the kids, the Eckers and the Parkers. It was awesome. Now Miles is playing, and I got my own Red Sox hat last week! Also my mother is very involved, because of being home with her injury she has seen almost every game. It cracks me up. Go Sox!

Today I am off. I got my boy on the bus and I will be picking him up at school because he thinks that is the best thing ever. Then we will be driving to Bowdoinham to get Recker. I am spending the day with my mother, although I am not entirely sure what we will be doing. Right now she is snoring and I am antsy because usually I would have been at work for a couple of hours by now.

Off to try to wake up the old lady.