Issues

I feel ill at ease. I don't know what it is specifically. It is nothing glaringly obvious. Okay, maybe slightly obvious, but I swear there is something else that I just can't put my finger on. I spend a lot of my time wishing I knew what is going to happen. What does life have in store for me? Should I go this way or that, or some other way I have yet to find? Nothing is easy. All decisions can have major consequences. In an effort to avoid conflict, and therefore take the easy way out, a lot of us just leave things the way they are and hope a solution will present itself. But what about all the time you have wasted and all the opportunities you may have missed? I am a great believer in fate, in the sense that things happen for a reason, even if it isn't obvious at the time, and everything works out the way it is supposed to. I believe that all my experiences and choices, good and bad, have made me the person that I am today, and, therefore, were important even if they were painful. But sometimes I just wish life were easy. Sometimes I wish that things were black or white. I am having issues lately. I feel like I have this huge decision to make, but I know it isn't only up to me. Part of me thinks I should just wait things out and see where life takes me. But the rest of me worries that I will run out of time, that someday I will look back on this and say "why didn't I do that sooner?". Or maybe there is no decision to be made. Maybe it will be made for me.