oh, the nausea

Yeah, so the new medicine makes me sick to my stomach. All the time. I fucking love it. I will say, it is certainly helping my diet when I only eat one meal a day and it is soup. Actually today wasn't as bad as yesterday, however, once I can tolerate my current dose of one pill, I have to start taking two. Eventually I have to work my way up to four pills a day. I have to take them with dinner, along with 3 vitamins. So, since I take my other pills in the morning and these pills are so freakishly huge, I need a new pill caddy. I am easily the oldest 31-year-old I know. I used to only take birth control pills and those were easy enough to remember. Then I started taking anti-depressants, also easy. Then they found my thyroid problem, so there was another pill. And I started realizing that I was having trouble remembering if I had taken all of my pills everyday. So I got a little pill box with all of the days of the week so I know if I have taken them. And now I need a giant one for all my freak medicines. I hate getting old.

Yesterday was Miles' last day of school. Now he is officially a second grader and, therefore, one of the "big kids" at his school since it only has K-2. When did this happen? I remember the days when I could go through the drive-through at Dunkin Donuts without him asking for something. I miss those days. I just don't know how he got so big without my noticing. Anyway, he did really well his last quarter of school and got several "O"s for outstanding, which he never got before. He is doing awesome and I am really proud of him, I just hope he stays like this and doesn't end up not caring about school the way me and Erik did.

I am off tomorrow because there isn't school and I wanted to hang out with Miles. We are hoping to have Rory come over as well, but don't know for sure yet. If I am feeling less barfy tomorrow, I will probably up my dose of the Metformin to 2 pills. Good times.

Off to take pills, pills, and more pills.

More pills

So I went to the doctor. And what I have is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Basically, my ovaries aren't working right and it is preventing me from getting pregnant. I wanted to know what my problem is, and now I know and I am fixing it with ungodly humongous pills. Because I don't take enough pills. But I still don't know if I want to get pregnant. Two years ago, absolutely. Now my kid is 7. Do I really want to start over again? It was easy to deal with when it happened on accident, the decision was made for me. Now that I have to be a grown-up and make a life-altering choice, I can't do it.

I am cranky from the aforementioned PCOS, lack of sleep, the fact that my kid will be a second grader tomorrow, and because I started my stupid fucking diet today.

Off to sleep...maybe.

Can't sleep

I am up super-early, because I was so paranoid about oversleeping. And I feel like barfing because of stress. I am off tomorrow, thank goodness, but I won't really be able to sleep in because it is my baby's last day of school. I need a sleep vacation.

Off to not barf.

Ack! 4am!

I am such a fucking sucker sometimes it pisses me off. As I mentioned before, I am "in charge" until Wednesday when my boss comes back. We had an obscene amount of work to do today and, as usual, not enough help. So, we didn't finish and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 9:45, which means I will be gone for an indeterminable amount of time. And I felt guilty about this because even though we don't have a ton of work for tomorrow, we still have work from today to finish. I relayed this information to Eric, one of the execs who will be in charge tomorrow morning and he said " Why don't you come in at 4 then?". And I said yes! What the fuck is my problem? In my defense, I will get shift differential from 4 until I leave for my appointment, so that is one good reason to do it. I am going to be so fucking tired tomorrow. And hot because they don't turn on the A/C until 7. I am really regretting this.

Off to bed soon. 4am!

Happy Father's Day

It's Father's Day. As usual, my father is in Canada fishing, which makes my life so much easier because then I only have to focus on the other side of my family. We gave Erik a Red Sox shirt (and bought ones for ourselves, too), and went over to see his grandfather. His mother was there, too, but his sister is currently skiing in the French Alps and his father is in Singapore. We visited with them and even ended up eating lunch with them, which we hadn't planned. Erik's grandmother makes the greatest cole slaw in the universe. I am serious, there is no other that could even compare. Anyhow, then we went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was really good, although there were certain aspects of the story that I found a little far-fetched. I really like that kid with the weird name who plays Indy's son. We took Miles today thinking that since the movie has been out for 3 or 4 weeks, it would probably be empty. However, since it was raining the theater was packed. Miles was an angel, though. I didn't even give him any pills. It was odd.

I have more to write about because I have a thousand things going through my mind lately. I just have times where I deal better than others, and this is, apparently, one of the bad times. Tomorrow is going to be a stressful day at work, tons to do and not enough help. And I'm in charge. Good times. I will prattle on and on endlessly about my problems at another point, however, because I have to put my kid to bed. Then again, I may choose to keep it all to myself and make myself crazy. Crazier.

Off to obsess.

Hot skin

Miles had a baseball game this morning. It was really sunny and fairly hot out, especially when you are wearing jeans. Then we came home and I lathered on the sunscreen and went in the pool. Apparently my 2 hours in the sun at baseball was enough to fry me to a crisp. I had a decent tan on my arms, but now they are red and very hot. My legs are still pasty white, as are the backs of my arms. It is such a good look, I highly recommend it to everyone who wants to look foxy like me.

I think I am starting a diet on Monday. I have been saying this since, at least, January of 1998, but now I am planning on it. Maybe. It is really hard living with 2 people who don't have to worry about their weight. There is no comprehension of what it is like to have to go through that whole process. I have 2 weddings to go to this summer, and I have gained all the weight back that I lost last summer for my reunion. One of the weddings is in 3 weeks, so it is unlikely I will be able to make much of a difference before that one, but at least I can work on it. It will probably make me crankier and bitchier than usual. Looking forward to that.

Off to roast.

TGIF

Fridays are awesome as far as I am concerned. This has been a painfully long week. My boss is on a mini-vacation and I am in charge. I can handle the being in charge part. I just don't like this huge amount of work being put on my shoulders because someone else didn't do their job and I have to pick up the pieces. There is a lot of that at my place of employment. And they pay shitty. Good times.

Rory is coming over tonight because my sister went to see Tom Petty in Boston. We will be leaving shortly to go pick him up. I put a lot of chemicals in the pool yesterday and I am hoping that it is going to be okay for the kids to swim in it tonight or tomorrow. Miles was despondent yesterday because he had baseball practice and I wouldn't let him go in the pool. He would go in even if it was cold and raining, I think.

I finally called the doctor's office today. I am going on Tuesday at 9:45. Good times.

A strange thing happened to me today. I saw my ex-husband's wife and 2 of their kids (there's four of them). She was yelling at them a lot. And she is less attractive than me. That really made my day. Shallow, I know.

Off to test the pool.